March 2012
Mom: LET'S GO I'M READY
10 minutes go by
Mom: are you ready yet?????
Me: I've been standing at the door waiting for you for 20 minutes
Mom: Ok I just have to pee and change clothes and water the plants and feed the dogs and cook dinner and swim the english channel
The art of trolling
smokeporch:
February 2012
0 posts
“You can have a very intense relationship with fictional characters because they...”
– J.K. Rowling (via hbks)
Queen Rowling has spoken
(via kevinssecretplace4546)
one thing you will do when you read The Hunger...
hayleyway:
eat like you’ve never eaten before
School: 2+2=4
Homework: 2+4+2=8
Exam: Iqbal has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the mass of the sun.
“If you’re a dad, you should be aware that you are your son or daughter’s first...”
– (via onlycaroline)
I'm a slut because I had sex with my boyfriend of...
tinyteapots:
Yet the girls who have sex with a lot of guys and don’t get pregnant don’t seem to be called sluts. I’m damn proud of my choice to keep my child with a boy whom loves me and will marry me one day. Even if he didn’t stay, I would keep my baby. It’s my flesh.
Okay. You can keep scrolling now.
You go girl. More power to you.
Trufax
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
John: Killing this demon comes before me, before everything.
*Sam looks in rearview mirror, at Dean*
Sam: Not everything.
Me: I am going to die.
Britain: Excuse Me
Mexico: Perdon
Italy: Permesso
France: Pardon
Canada: Sorry
America: Get the fuck out of my way douchedick
Ellen Degeneres for President.
Wonders why everyones posting about A Day To...
Realise that you’re in the A Day To Remember tag
BLAINE RAPPING. HEART EXPLOSION.
